What Rapper Represents The St. Louis Blues? Hip-Hop Hockey In The Western Conference

Jun 27, 2014; Philadelphia, PA, USA; A general view of the Stanley Cup on display before the first round of the 2014 NHL Draft at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

What rapper best represents the St. Louis Blues? Not to leave anyone out of the discussion, I will also pair up the rest of the NHL with a rapper including our St. Louis Blues. In this two-part feature, I will be naming a rapper to represent every NHL team by conference. There are plenty of fun, comparable aspects in the world of hockey and the world of hip-hop. First, I’ll tackle the Western Conference.

Anaheim Ducks = Drake

Just as the Ducks were founded by the Walt Disney Company after the success of the movie series, The Mighty Ducks, Drake got his start as a wheelchair-bound character on the Canadian TeenNick show Degrassi. Nobody took either of them seriously at first, but both have since proven to be talented and earned a reputation as brutal. Both are now forces to be reckoned with in their respective fields.

Arizona Coyotes = Insane Clown Posse

Barely a hockey team, barely a rap group, both are at the bottom of everybody’s list as far as talent or appeal goes. As ICP dresses up like clowns on acid, one would think a clown on acid had a hand in designing the Coyotes jerseys in the 90’s. As the Yotes franchise will not likely be around much longer, many of us are wishing the same could be said about ICP.

Calgary Flames = Childish Gambino

Two young guns that came out of nowhere with loads of talent and potential. Nobody took the Calgary kids seriously at first, just like Don Glover being taken seriously coming from a stand-up comedy and acting career. Both caught a lot of people off guard and both provide a buffet of skills and have bright futures, and hopefully we’ll be seeing more of them both.

Chicago Blackhawks = Wu-Tang Clan

Both are a dynasty among their communities, untouchable forces showcasing unbeatable strength in all aspects of hockey and hip-hop. When players or members have left the group in the past, they have been effective elsewhere as both seem to be farm teams for centerpieces in the world of hip-hop and hockey; but are not as mighty as when within the group. Both the Wu and the Hawks are the blueprint for success in their respective fields. Coincidentally as Wu-Tang raps about doing unspeakable things, Chicago’s Patrick Kane is apparently actually doing them.

Colorado Avalanche = The Cool Kids

A couple of years ago both the Avs and The Cool Kids looked like the new kids on the block, surprising everyone with unsuspected talent and appeal. Unfortunately it only took another year or so for both of them to be left in the dust as the surrounding teams and rappers seemed to be light years ahead of them. The Cool Kids called it quits, and the Avs just keep adding veterans past their prime for coach Patrick Roy to yell at.

Dallas Stars = Run The Jewels

Killer Mike and Jamie Benn for years were the underrated gems and fan favorites. They both started garnering the mass respect and appreciation they deserved after finding their “bromance” soul mates in El-P and Tyler Seguin. Both are brutally offensive and skilled duos that will be unmatched for years to come.

Edmonton Oilers = Eminem

Both the Oilers and “Slim Shady” himself used to be powerhouses back in their heyday, but since have been nothing but hot garbage and empty promises. As Eminem keeps getting handed unearned #1 singles, the Oilers keep getting handed #1 draft picks to waste as we all collectively pull our hair out.

LA Kings = Macklemore

The Kings and Macklemore jumped up to #1 seemingly overnight but have both quickly burned out. The Kings robbed the Blackhawks on an easy cup win they clearly deserved in 2014; much like when Macklemore robbed Kendrick Lamar of a Grammy he clearly deserved in the same year.

Minnesota Wild = Atmosphere

Both are from Minnesota, and generally under the radar. Both quietly contribute steadily year to year and have more of a cult status to anyone outside of the “State Of Hockey.” Most casual fans discredit them or write them off as not very exciting, but those of us paying close attention know otherwise.

Nashville Predators = Death Row Records

No matter what the public allegations are neither of these organizations will care, they will happily employ you. Death Row in the ’90s didn’t have much of a PR department. Despite having no moral standard, both tend to put out quality on the ice and in record stores. Is Mike Ribeiro just the beginning? Will the Predators follow in Death Row’s shoes?

San Jose Sharks = Dr. Dre

After the Sharks imploded, they promised fans a rebuild and a different direction, which ended up being a complete lie as they rolled out an almost identical lineup the following season. Dr. Dre, for many years, promised the album Detox to fans which ended up being scrapped secretly as he rolled out Compton. Both pulled the wool over their fans eyes when things went sour, and ended up going in a completely different direction. It remains to be seen whether or not it works for the Sharks.

St. Louis Blues = MF Doom

This one hurts. The St. Louis Blues are a supreme talent in the regular season but, as we all know, fail to show up when it matters most for fans, the playoffs. MF Doom puts out some of the music in hip-hop, but when fans shell out money for tickets to see him, he tends not to show up and sends imposters instead. One would hope the St. Louis Blues can change their postseason “imposter” performances, Doom might keep getting away with it if he doesn’t get caught.

Apr 20, 2015; Saint Paul, MN, USA; St. Louis Blues head coach Ken Hitchcock looks on during the third period in game three of the first round of the 2015 Stanley Cup Playoffs against the Minnesota Wild at Xcel Energy Center. The Wild defeated the Blues 3-0. Mandatory Credit: Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Vancouver Canucks = Odd Future

What was once a promising group of young talent, ended up becoming a couple of guys accomplishing much more on their own. Leaving something to be desired, a confused fan base and an unjustified riot along the way followed. Most Odd Future fans tend to be under the legal drinking age, and most Canucks fans should be stripped of their right to legally drink.

Winnipeg Jets = 2 Chainz

Both originally hailed from the state of Georgia (Atlanta Thrashers) where nobody really seemed to care for them. They found themselves re-branding and re-inventing themselves (2 Chainz was formely known as Tity boi) and in the end found a much larger fan base and higher level of income.

Next I will be tackling the Eastern Conference, stay tuned!

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